Nip Slips: Passies, Binkies, Boo Bahs and Nuckys.

Every parent has an ideal in their mind of what their child will be like. Meek, mild, QUIET, you know. Taking the whole “sleeping like a baby” idea to the next level.

And then the baby is actually home, in the house, infiltrating every area of life that its parents hold dear. For me, this caused a simultaneous jump for joy and cry out for caffeine. “Sleeping like a baby” must be some sick myth created to encourage couples to procreate. Whatever the case, I’m not amused.

Which leads me to the subject of pacifiers. Pre baby, I had strong opinions against popping passies to make my baby quiet. I don't want my baby to end up with bucked teeth, a speech impediment or "rotten R's" because of a bink. That’s what God gave us appendages for. But then she was home, screaming her head off, and wanting to be nursed every forty- five minutes because of a pretty intense reflux issue. All bets were off.

Now, three months and some change later, binkies are everywhere. There is a corner of her crib that I call “The Binky Graveyard… where binkies go to die” because you can find three or four multicolored nips there at any given moment. I’ve strategically spread them throughout the house so they are always within an arm’s reach at the critical moment. I shove them down in the corners of her car seat. I’ve even become a pro at contorting to pop one in one handed while driving. Never go anywhere without them.

I guess the moral is, it’s easy to make certain judgments and ideals before the baby arrives. It's only normal to give in. And if the worst thing I do to damage my children is pop a bink, they'll probably turn out okay anyway.